on coming home

On November 18, though I can hardly believe it… I’m comin’ back to NYC!
Between November 20 and December 20, three very important people in my life are getting married: my cousin Amanda (Philly wedding), my best friend in the world and soul sista Chanellie Shoshanah Shapiro-soon-to-be-Horowitz (Turks & Caicos wedding woooot!), and my other cousin Courtney (NY wedding).
On the bus last night, I was thinking back to my time in Rishikesh. I remember when I first arrived there in August. I was coming from Vallika and Sada’s place in Gurgaon, so Rishikesh was the first hostel I stayed at in India. When I settled in to my 6-person dorm room and went to wash my face in the bathroom, I saw that someone had hung their towel on the back of the door and left their face wash out on the sink. I thought to myself, “wow, that’s pretty trusting of that person, leaving their towel there. Someone else could dry their face on it. Someone could just use up all their face wash. I’m going to re-pack my face wash after I use it.”  Weeks later I was of course hanging my towel and leaving out my face wash. Because who the F is going to use another person’s towel? And everyone has their own face wash. No need to be so protective. I had embraced the mutual trust that comes with backpacking.
I was in Rishikesh back in early August - which is now three months ago, and so much has happened since then. I never thought of Rishikesh as being three months ago. Or as its own chapter, a chapter now long over. Until right now, this adventure has all just seemed like one big blur of a moment. One really long dream in which the passage of time has not been real. An extra season in the Year 2015. A season that would never have existed had I not created it. I am so incredibly grateful that I had enough faith in myself to follow my own instinct and make this happen. And so thinking that this is going to be over bums me out. India genuinely feels like home at this point and I don’t want to leave.
In Kathmandu, a guy asked me, “so is anyone waiting for you back in New York?” He of course meant this romantically -- a (perhaps) more polite way of asking if I was in a relationship -- and so I said no. Nobody waiting back in NYC for me.  But then last night on the bus I re-thought about this: is anybody waiting for me back in New York.  And I acknowledged that, yeah, I do have somebody waiting for me. Lots of somebodies, actually.  And how fucking lucky does that make me? How fortunate am I that I get texts from my friends and family telling me how excited they are to see me. How much they miss me. How they really can’t wait until November 18.  How fortunate am I to be surrounded by such quality people and to have so much love and laughter in my life.  

So the end of this (leg of my!?!) journey really is bittersweet. I don’t want India to be over! But I’m hella excited to be back in New York. To be reunited with people who love me unconditionally and who understand me in the kind of way that only someone with years of shared context can. To see one of my best friend’s bellies bursting (Hannah that would be you) with twin girls. To share in the weddings - what will be the best nights of their lives! - of the people who make my life as happy and fulfilling as it is. To get to live in New York yet again.  I love leaving New York but man do I love coming back to New York. #Gratitude. 

The life I've been living for the past few months will be hard to leave behind, but hopefully I'm coming back as a better version of me. I’ve got a pretty amazing life to come home to and some pretty good cliffs notes to bring home with me and I genuinely can't wait to spread the love. Who knows what will happen after the weddings. Maybe the adventure goes on ;) Either way, NYC I’m comin' for ya!!!
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